Author: pearlmaggie

Hi. Welcome to my blog! My name is Margaret Muthee or you can call me Mama Twins. Pearls of My Heart has been a long time coming and I am glad it is finally here. Besides being a twin mom, I am journalist, author, seeker, art enthusiast, but most important an amazing human being trying to live life boldly. I started this blog as a way to exhale, and share my experiences through life especially being a twin mom. Through this platform I hope to share insights into parenting, motherhood, home and décor, lifestyle and much more. Thank you for stopping by. Make yourself comfortable. Browse around and do leave comments. It will be great learning and interacting with you. Happy reading!

DABS Africa and Penn State University Host Cross-Cultural Talks on Mental Health

DABS Africa (an association of psychology students at Outspan Medical College in Nyeri), in collaboration with Showtime Cinema recently hosted Penn State University students for a Cross-cultural discussion on Mental health, at the climax of Mental Health Awareness Month on the 28^th May 2023.

The event dubbed ‘Mental Health Talk Show’ shared Cross-cultural Approaches between DABS Africa and Penn State University on Mental health and related issues.

Panelists engage in cross-cultural talk on mental health

The event which was the first of its kind, brought together an audience of young people from the two institutions as well as other young people from across Nyeri town.

The cross-cultural talks on mental health saw the teams converge at the Showtime Cinema in Nyeri, where they all engaged in discussions centered on mental health and the different approaches to coping with mental health challenges.

The event was moderated by Circle Chat cohosts, ReginaWanjiru Muthoga and Christine Waithera Chege, who are both also part of the DABS Africa team, and Wachera Gikonyo of Showtime Cinema. Among the panel were Tia Abdulhadi, Nina Decicco, Sofia Montaner from Penn State University, and Victor Mwai of Outspan Medical College.

Tia Abdulhadi( center) shares her opinion on mental health as panelists Wachera Gikonyo (left), and Regina Muthoga (right) listen in.

The discussions were centered on differences in mental approaches in Kenya and in the United States, and in particular at Penn State University. It was noted that in the United States, people have been more sensitized on mental health and are therefore more vocal about mental health illnesses. They are more advanced when it comes to handling mental health issues. In addition, they have different programs that help in coping with mental health in workplaces and other institutions. On the other hand, people are not as open about mental health in Kenya, and there’s still a lot of stigma associated with mental health issues.

While in the US, they have a lot of facilities and more technologically advanced equipment to test different disorders in their colleges and universities, Kenya is still struggling with stigma and with few health care professionals to handle mental health cases. In addition, there is a gap when it comes to following up on the patients.

Another interesting debate that came up during the session was the role that religion plays in dealing with mental health issues. According to the Penn State students, religion in Africa plays a negative role sometimes as we are too stuck on practicing religion to an extent that it leads to actions that could in the long run impact mental health negatively. A recent example was the ‘Shakahola case’ where a pastor allegedly misled hundreds of faithful, including children by leading them to fast to their death bed. The Penn State students argued that this over-indulgence in religion was impacting negatively on mental health. In their case, they do not dwell more on religion as they feel this can sometimes create a barrier to mental health instead of promoting it. Most of them argued that they would rather practice spirituality.

Students from Penn State University at the event

The engaging debate ended on a high note with the audience wishing that it had lasted longer. There was also positive feedback on the event from across the board.

“The event was great but it should have lasted longer. We definitely hope to have a rerun in the future,” said Waithera Chege, Circle Chat cohosts.

“The session was very interactive and this allowed people to approach us with more confidential questions. This really motivated us. A change of venue would be great for the next time to allow us to interact more with the community. We should have a follow-up where we have cross-cultural talks to see our weaknesses and how we can cope with them. I also hope to see more gentlemen on the panel.” shared Frank Boma, a student psychologist and a member of DABS Africa.

Fanuel Thuranira also part of Dabs Africa shared what he had learnt and how he would use it in his profession.

“What I learnt from Penn State is that they are more open about mental health. In my area of the profession, it takes time to get a mental health patient to trust you. We need to come up with ways of making clients more open and allowing them to feel safe. I am now practicing this in my career. You must create a safe environment for your patient where they feel there is no judgment.

“It was a very engaging talk and we had a great time learning from each other. We hope that we can do this again some other time, and it would also be interesting to hear what the whole team learnt from us as well,” shared Regina Muthoga.

The Circle Chat is an externship project by Kairu Kuguru of Kahawa Chit Chat. The project gives young people an opportunity to explore artistry by bringing together creatives to form networks through content development and creation.

Waithera Chege and Regina Muthoga cohosts of ‘The Circle Chat with Wa’z show on Youtube.

8-Year-Old Boy Advocating for Nurturing of Talents and the Environment

From a distance, the 8-year-old Jayden Tyler who rocks dreadlocks as the crown on his head may seem like a spoilt child straight from the city. You will also not miss his remarkable English ascent which may make you add to the list of your assumptions about him. However, Jayden’s wit and love for the environment will catch you by surprise and leave you in awe.

Recently, the student, also a brand ambassador at the Caplora STEM International School celebrated his 8^th birthday with children at the Mugunda P.C.E.A church, Nairutia, Kieni West Constituency. The event was not only a birthday celebration but a talent show that had attracted close to 500 children from 14 churches in the parish. The children got to showcase their talents through activities such as comedy, modeling, dance, and acting amongst others.

Jayden who graced the occasion as a special guest shared over 250 Hass avocado tree seedlings with the children who were in attendance. The tree seedlings were a result of his fundraising efforts to ensure that each child received a seedling that they would grow at home even as they grew their talent.

Passion for the Environment

According to Jayden, who hails from Nyeri, his passion for the environment started at an early age and is only growing stronger.

“I have always been mindful of the environment. I cannot litter because I was taught in Rwanda that it is wrong. I learnt the value of being conscious of the environment. When we moved back into the country, I was surprised at how unconscious some people are. I wanted to make Kenya as clean as Rwanda,” the boy who loves comedy, science as well as computer coding explains.

Jayden Tyler, his friend Jay Gaitho, and his mother Caroline Kagiri handing over trees to the children at Mugunda P.C.E.A church.

Being multi-talented, Jayden thought of a way that he would be able to reach out to many kids in sharing his message about taking care of the environment.

“I wanted to share the idea that we can nurture our talents and nurture the environment. I requested my mum that we do something impactful during my birthday, something that has to do with the environment. Through our friend Rev Nahashon Githaiga, we learnt that P.C.E.A Mugunda church was planning a children’s talent show. I thought that this was the perfect plan to reach out in spreading the message of the environment,” he further states.

Support from Community

According to Caroline Kagiri, Jayden’s mother, her son’s interest in the environment is something that she noted at an early age.

“He’s always been passionate about the sciences and the environment. When I learnt what he wanted to do, I decided that I would support him and that was when we started fundraising. He’s been instrumental in mobilizing people to support the children by buying the tree seedlings,” she shares. Carol is also grateful that Rev. Nahashon Githaiga at PCEA Muguda parish accepted to support Jayden’s dream.

The idea was to share the tree seedlings with the children at this auspicious event. Once planted, they will remember to nurture the environment even as they nurture the talent,” she adds.

According to the Rev. Nahashon, Jayden’s dream was in line with the talent show event.

“The children are talented in different ways. We want to showcase their talents, boost their self-confidence and encourage them to nurture them. We are grateful that we had Jayden on board because the idea that we want to emphasize is that, even as we nurture the talents, we should also not forget to nurture our environment,” he says.

Future Plans

Jayden may have started at an early age, but his journey does not end here. His future plans:

“We are in the process of registering a tree planting foundation so that we can do this throughout the year. As we celebrate our birthdays, we hope to plant more trees. We will create a club so that we can track how many trees we’ve planted by the end of the year. The trees will provide shelter in the homes, fruits for the family, and surplus produce that can be sold. We shall also be contributing to the reduction of emission of greenhouse gasses,” he concludes.

We are Back!

We are back after a long hiatus. I am sure you are wondering why I haven’t been writing for over a year now? Well, let’s just say I had writer’s block, or I just needed that break. To be honest, so much happened to me in the Covid-19 season and I just couldn’t get myself to put pen to paper. But I am back and will be sharing all that you missed!

For starters, the twins just turned 4 yay! Time passes fast.

I am not sure I had shared this in my last post, I got another bundle of joy. Yes, a singleton! There is always that anxiety that comes with having more kids after twins. On that, I’ll be sharing my whole journey from the time that I learned that I was pregnant to the time that I knew that I was expecting a singleton. I’ll also share how it has been raising the twins and now their baby brother, who is such a ball of energy. There are obviously many differences between twins and singletons and one has to strike a balance in parenting.

In between the pandemic, I lost my mum to cancer and in the coming posts, I’ll share how this affected my life including how it was parenting during this time of grief.

After having a safe delivery, it turned out that I also got postpartum preeclampsia a rare condition that some of you may know or may not know about. I believe that even as we sharpen our parenting skills, we also need to learn and be aware of health conditions that can affect us.

This year, the twins are back in school. The first time we tried school was last year and that did not end very well. In fact, one of the twins ended up being hospitalized twice with severe pneumonia. I am so glad they are back to attending school and we are hoping for the best this time around as their immunity is stronger, I believe.

Last year I also got my fair share of nanny issues. I have so much to share on this. I could even write a book. I plan to share a series of stories in the coming days just documenting my experiences during these trying times. I’ve got so much to share on my parenting journey, so I’ll only ask you to keep on board. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out as always! Thank you.

Night Terrors in Children

When my daughter woke up screaming in the night a few weeks ago, I was terrified and did not know what to do.

I tried my best to comfort her in the best way that I could but nothing – not even the hugs or cuddles seemed to work. She wouldn’t let me sleep beside her and the worst part is that the twin brother, also as terrified and sleeping in the same room wouldn’t go back to sleep.

The two refused to sleep not only in that bed but also in that room. I tried getting them to sleep in our bedroom but this did not work either, and that is how I ended in the living room watching the 2020 US elections with my twins.

I thought It was over but over the following couple of weeks, I faced the same problem –Irma would wake up at night start screaming, and totally refuse to sleep in that bed. The brother, over time, somehow learnt to deal with it and would somehow sleep through it, unlike the first time that it happened.

It was tough getting her back to sleep, but somehow, she would eventually fall asleep in my arms or after a lot of convincing but with the lights on.

This is how I learnt about night/sleep terrors in children. Do stay with me to the end, as I share my lessons on how I have handled it so far.

A night terror is a form of sleep disruption which is pretty similar to a nightmare but totally dramatic. They are usually common in children between the ages of 3-8 years.

Signs of Night Terrors

Shouting and screaming.
Thrashing around in extreme panic.
Child may sit upright in bed or even jump out of the bed.
Fast breathing/quick heartbeat.

Unlike with nightmares where the child may describe a bad dream, the child may not remember the night terror the following morning. They will also not usually be fully awake although their eyes will be open through the incident.

Causes of Night Terrors

Night terrors during the deep sleep stage. Night terrors are sudden reactions of fear that happens during the transition from one sleep stage to the other.

It is common in:

Overtired, ill, or stressed/anxious children
Kids taking some new medication
Children in a new environment
Children not getting enough sleep.

Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-sleeping-on-bed-1359554/

Night terrors may be triggered by anything that makes your child wake up from deep sleep such as excitement, anxiety, or noise.

How to Help Your Child

The most frustrating thing for most parents is that with night terrors, you may not be able to comfort your child.

The best thing to do is to patiently wait it out and ensure that your child remains safe during the episodes.

While there’s no treatment, parents can prevent it by:

Set up a relaxing bedtime routine.
Ensure the child gets enough sleep.
Try and solve any anxieties the child may have.
If the night terrors occur around the same time every night, you can wake up the child 15 minutes before the anticipated time for about a week to break the cycle.

Seek Help:

Night terrors do not have adverse effects on the health of the child. They also eventually grow out of night terrors. However, it is important to seek help when the night terrors persist for a long time. A doctor can help establish whether they are caused by a health issue that can be resolved.

Understanding night terrors is essential in ensuring that you help your child through and that you also have peace of mind as a parent. Learn as much as you can, remember you are not alone and that this is a phase that will pass.

In my case, I also learnt that my daughter was afraid of the sounds of the rain. Though my son wasn’t, they’d often run into the house when it rained. I associated this anxiety with the night terrors and have over the weeks worked to calm them down when it rains. I let them know that rain isn’t something to be afraid of and even dress them warmly and hand them umbrellas to enjoy being out whenever there is a light shower. With this anxiety easing up, we’ve not had any other incidences with night terrors. I am hoping that I am right on this one and that we will have no other such episodes.

Please share your experiences on night terrors so that we keep learning. How were you able to cope? Follow my blog, read up on other topics, and keep the comments flowing! Thank you.

Keeping Kids Busy at Home in the Covid-19 Season

I recently woke up to a text message from a friend that read:

“The kids are driving me crazy, will school ever reopen?”

I am not going to lie, I totally relate with this parent, having experienced parenting twins, where I have to break up a fight every once in a while. I can imagine how it feels like being stuck at home with 4-year-old twins and an older almost-teenage daughter who feels left out.

Even though my twins are not of school-going age yet, I already experience fatigue on a day to day basis even with all the help that I receive from my nanny and their father, who is also working from home.

Kids have such bursts of energy you can literally explode from all the things that they make you do. Having school going children over for the weekend can be fun but having them all week through for months on end can be quite something.

With the Coronavirus pandemic still causing havoc in our lives, and the continuous closure of schools, how are you coping? It is important to know how to keep working on ways to keep the kids happy at home. Here are a few useful tips to keep you going.

Have a Routine

As a twin mom, I can confidently say that having a routine with the twins has helped me keep things organized and in order. We basically follow a routine from morning to evening and only break out from the norm when there’s a pretty good reason.

For school-going children, a routine will also help in infusing order into your life. Before you figure everything out, follow the school routine. Let them study when they are supposed to as they are already used to this.

When do they take breaks in school? Schedule breaks around the same time and let them snack up during such times. Basically, break up the day into chunks of time that follow a certain structure. Knowing the schedule will make your life easier.

Schedule Some Fun Indoor Activities

Source: https://pixabay.com/photos/children-learning-mother-s-day-child-1359728/

Kids love to play outside, but considering that we are sailing through unprecedented times; it becomes difficult to let them go. While you might just throw in some toys, it becomes more fun for them when you schedule games or activities that involve you as well. I cannot tell you the number of times we’ve played with the kids around the house.

The most amazing thing about indoor activities is that they can be both educative and entertaining. Think of scheduling time for activities such as painting, reading, toy arrangement, or cooking. Easy indoor activities will help you pass time through the day and especially with toddlers and preschoolers. They will also make a great opportunity to transition from one block of time to the other.

Arrange for Some Chores

Being stuck inside can leave your kids broody and bored. To break up the monotony, let them help you with some chores. Besides breaking up the routine, some chores will give your kids a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Letting them help you with disinfecting around the house will teach the importance of hygiene. Older kids can help you with chores such as cooking or gardening.

Schedule Screen Time

In our current world, there are screens virtually everywhere. Some parents opt to keep their children away from the screen up to a certain age. Screen time overexposure can be detrimental to a child’s health and it is important to limit the time spent on screen.

Useful tips:

Make screen time predictable. This helps children anticipate when to expect it and for how long.

Do not hesitate to turn it off. When the scheduled time period is over, turn off the screen so as its time to move on to another activity.

Step Out

There is just no way you’ll totally manage to keep them indoors all day every day. Break out from normal routine once in a while and step outside. You do not have to go too far. Taking a nature walk around your home will help younger kids learn about what they see outside. You can also go out as a family. Remember to observe all the rules and regulations of the current times. Go to a game park; enjoy a weekend getaway that will allow you to bond as a family. Trust me, this will help everyone unwind and prepare you for another week.

Take it easy, Breath

As a parent, it feels good to see things running smoothly in your home. However, do not beat yourself too much when your kids miss out on the routine. Depending on different situations, it is okay to let go off the little things – that extended screen time, play date, etc. Find joy in the little things that make your kids happy. Remember, this season is temporary and will eventually pass. Do share further tips that are working for you. Will you?

How to Handle Fighting Twins

For some time I’ve been wondering whether I am the only twin parent who has to handle seemingly never-ending squabbles between my boy and girl twins.

It started pretty early. I cannot say exactly when, but it started with tandem breastfeeding, then feeding bottles, and now at 2, it’s almost everything!

From what I’ve gathered from other multiple parents, this seems to be a common problem. While most twins get along, there are always those moments of tension when they are mad at each other and pretty much ready to tear each other’s hair apart.

Twins fights can get intense and as a parent, it is best to always look out for them and to take appropriate action before it gets worse.

Fighting twins. Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/donnieray/14835028880

Why the Fights?

You will notice, just like other siblings, twins fight for the most obscure reasons. It could be a toy that they both love, over being pushed and in most cases over a parent’s attention.

The fights start early when they are toddlers and can go on as they grow.

How they fight varies. It could be through pushing, biting, scratching, pulling each other and even throwing things at each other.

According to experts sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, especially amongst younger children, but it goes down with age as they learn to communicate better and negotiate for what they want. However, sibling aggression can cross the line and parents should address this by seeking help.

There are various strategies that can be used to manage conflict. But it is important to note that what may work in one family or situation may not work in another.

How to Handle Fighting Twins

When a fight happens, the first instinct as a parent is to ensure that none of the children is hurt. On dealing with the squabbles, it is important that you remain neutral at all times. This is because you do not want one twin thinking that they can easily get away with whatever they want, or the other thinking that you never support them.

While each situation is unique, here are some general rules that you can follow.

Acknowledge Their Feelings

As toddlers twins fight out of frustration as they are not able to communicate their feelings appropriately. This changes as they grow and continue to grasp their use of language.

When the siblings fight, it is best to acknowledge both of their feelings.

Condemn the bad behaviour but not the child.

Help the twins calm down and if they are able to speak for themselves, let them communicate their behaviour and once they are done, discuss alternative reactions they would have taken.

For example, if they were fighting over a toy, let them know the values of sharing, or kindly requesting for something as opposed to simply grabbing things from each other.

Remember to be fair. Showing favoritism may only lead to the aggravation of bad behaviour.

Get Rid of the Triggers

If the cause of the fights is something that you can easily get rid of then do it. You may be aware of toys that could lead to fights. Ensure that you are watching over them when they are around such items so that they are able to share. If there are no changes, you might want to hold on to specific items until they understand that you are withholding them because of their inability to share and solve their differences amicably.

Alternatively, get distinct toys from stores such as Toy Shaven 254 which offer a wide array of unique gifts.

If they keep fighting over each other’s items then colour coding or labeling the items that each twin loves could also be a way around it. Ultimately, they will outgrow such and will soon learn how to share.

Warn Them of the Consequences

Sometimes when kids hit each other or bite each other, they are unaware of what could happen if one gets hurt. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach them the consequences of such actions, which mostly are spurred by anger.

Teach them from a young age that there is a cause and effect for every action. Deep down, twins have a connection and are not willing to see the other hurt. They will know when they’ve gone overboard.

Another way to warn twins is to let them know that you won’t always be available to solve their problems and that they have to be able to solve their own conflicts.

Be Calm

Children learn from imitating their role models. And who best be a role model than their parents? In the midst of all their turmoil, while you feel like you want to kick them out, try as much as possible to remain calm. Shouting or yelling at them may only worsen the situation. Teach them to resolve their situations by stepping out for a moment and letting them be on their own. Soon enough they will learn.

Take Them Out for a While

One of the best ways that I’ve realized actually works for my toddlers is embracing the outdoors. Once we step into a new environment they are good as new. What I love about the outdoors is that it presents so many positive distractions that help them get rid of all the negative energy. They are able to calm down and focus on other things such as enjoying nature or playing with their friends. By the time we step back to the house, they have gotten rid of all the excess energy and their mood is at another level of good.

Set Expectations

There is a need to set expectations between twin siblings as a way to cope with rivalry. Let them know that as parents, you expect them to treat their siblings with respect. While it sounds easy, you are going to have to be a role model. Avoid fighting with others in front of your kids.

Sibling rivalry is mostly a normal part of growing up. As a parent, act as a mediator when necessary but let your twins learn to resolve their differences. Do not forget to be fair at all times.

Potty Training Twins: Are You Ready for the Toilet Training Headache?

Source: https://images.app.goo.gl/Vk1Huc76WR6j21CU6

My twins recently turned 2 and well, we’ve been working on potty training. The girl seems to have caught it on early but, I am still struggling with the boy, and sometimes, he derails the learning process for the girl too.

Are your twins approaching the two-year mark and you’re wondering how to potty train your twins? Well, you are not alone.

Many twin parents are thrilled at the idea of ditching the diapers. They really yearn to see the day when they can send their young ones to do their business. However, potty training is not as easy as it sounds. You may be used to the double trouble alright, but nobody prepares you for the potty training headache. It also gets more difficult potty training boy/girl twins. In most cases, girls will be earlier than boys.

The big question however remains, when should you even start to try?

According to experts, potty training shouldn’t be anchored entirely on age. It mainly depends on the individual child’s physical, developmental, and behavior milestones. All kids are not ready for potty training at the same time and by forcing them to use the potty before the time is right, you are only setting yourself up for frustration.

There are several signs that will show when they are ready for potty training.

You’re changing fewer diapers than before

They are able to communicate when they want to go.

They attempt to remove their dirty diapers.

They are genuinely interested when you use the toilet.

They can pull down their pants and pull them up.

Generally, it is safe to start potty training at the age of 2. Some kids may show signs that they are ready as early as 18 months. Some may not be ready until they are about 3 years old. In the case of twins, it is also important to check for readiness of the individual twin.

Useful Tips on Potty Training Twins

Time It Right

If your twins are not ready to train, you will definitely encounter challenges, and this will only lead to frustration on your part. Examine your twins for signs of readiness before embarking on toilet training.

Prepare your twins for potty training way in advance by involving them in shopping for the potties or underwear, or reading children’s books on potty training or even having a small chit chat on hygiene.

Bring in the Potties

There are different kinds of potties, but for a start I’d vouch for the floor potties. These are easily portable and can be placed wherever the twins are comfortable or a room where they spend most of their time. They will also save you the trouble of potty accidents. No need running to the bathroom, real accidents could actually happen. Additionally, the kids will feel more comfortable as their feet are on the ground and not dangling on the toilet seat. With time you can easily transition to the main toilet.

Mind Your Language

Using the potty is all new to your twins. While it has been an anticipated milestone, there is bound to be a few accidents here and there. When potty training your twins, it is important to create a positive environment. Praise their efforts when they tell you they have to go, or when they do it right.

Do not condemn them when in some cases they tell you that they soiled on their pants. They already know they failed by the time they are telling you. How you react will have an impact on them.

There is also a tendency to compare twins’ milestones. Please do not do this when potty training. In some cases, a twin will pick up potty training faster than the other and that is okay. Remember, as much as they may be twins, they are different individuals. Give them time and they will catch up faster than you thought.

Stick to a Similar Schedule

As a twin parent, you understand the importance of establishing a routine. From similar meal times to sleep patterns a structured routine will save you a heck of trouble, and the same case applies for a schedule for potty training!

Have them sit on the potty every two hours. You can relax and distract your child by having toys they love around or playing a game that they love.

Take them to the potty immediately before and after sleeping. Also, make it a habit to let them sit on the potty 30-45 minutes after a meal.

Dress up for Success

Source: https://images.app.goo.gl/98b9o9EAU3GfHz2a8

Many parents prefer potty training in the warmer season when the kids are not overdressed and they can easily be able to get on with it.

Encourage your twins to feel more confident by dressing them for success during potty training. Avoid clothes that have long zippers or a line of buttons. Instead, try underwear; pull up pants, or even pretty little skirts for the girls. Dressing them up in these easy access clothing will also save you from tantrums that result from frustration.

Offer Gifts and Rewards

Toddlers love gifts. This can work for you during potty training. However, we also know that twins can get very competitive, and you ought to be careful when giving rewards. Depending on your twins, giving rewards could lead to the development of some ugly scenes, when they both want to be rewarded and only one deserves it. When handing out incentives, make it extremely clear why you’re giving it to one twin and not the other.

Be Ready for the Mess

As much as we may want the potty training process to be smooth, it is important to accept that there will be a mess to clean up sometimes. In the case of twins, best accept that there may just be a double mess!

Be ready for such eventualities by stocking up on the right cleaning supplies and remaining positive. This phase will pass.

There is one more thing that you are going to need – Patience!

Just like any other twin milestone, toilet training will not be smooth sailing! Be calm as you teach your child how to use the bathroom. No matter how long it takes, sooner or later, your twins will soon learn how to do it on their own!

Tips: Making it through the first year with twins

My twin babies turned a year! I am thrilled. I am grateful. I am excited about the future and looking forward to the journey ahead. Many have asked how the year has been, how we made it through and to be quite honest, on many instances, I do not know what to say, other than God has been gracious!

Raising multiples is tough, but what we forget mostly is that it is also quite an amazing journey. YES! Despite all the upheavals, motherhood is a beautiful journey! And how more beautiful it is watching your twins, or triplets, play, laugh, learn together. Sometimes they will fight for toys or something, but just the sheer joy of watching them grow together is priceless!

So for those expecting multiples, or those who are already walking the journey, here are some tips on how we made it through this far.

Take a day at a time

Anxiety sets in as soon as you find out that you are carrying multiples. This happened to me. I was anxious from the moment when the doctors announced that we were going to be having twins. I wondered – how would I carry them? How would I breastfeed? How many cots would we need? Would I ever sleep at night? I worried about so many things some of which I learnt did not even matter. I continued worrying even after the twins were born. I totally haven’t gotten rid of all anxiety to date. Can you really? I still worry when one gets sick, because I know the other might fall sick as well. I worry about being separated from them. I actually think about them a lot when I am away. I wonder about whether I am being the greatest mum, and if I am doing my best.

One thing that I have learnt through the year is to take a day at time. There are days when they have slept through the night, and days when they’ve woken up to what feels like a thousand times. Taking a day at a time has been my remedy. Expect no two days to be the same. Give your best each day and hope for the best.

Keep the babies on one schedule

A mum holding their child, displaying their feet

The sooner you create a routine, the better it will be for everyone involved in raising the multiples. With time the babies also get to understand that there is an order to things. They can predict that it is bath time, sleeping time, feeding time or even nap time.

It will not always go perfectly and will obviously take some time, but once there is a schedule, your days will be way better than they were with nothing to sort of give a sense of direction.

Accept Help

Raising multiples can be overwhelming. You cannot do it alone. Accept all the help that comes your way and especially during the first months, while you may also be healing post pregnancy. Work as a team with your partner. If he offers to pick up the groceries, cook, change diapers, bath the twins or even stay with them while you take that well deserved break accept it!

Family and friends also come in handy during this time. So long as you are comfortable with the people around you let them help you. It may not be in directly taking care of the babies, it could be in taking care of other duties.

Make time for yourself

As much as the kids’ welfare is key, your health and sanity is also important. Take a break, you deserve it. Keep post partum depression at bay by taking a break from the babies and all the new responsibilities that you have. If your partner is supportive enough, let him keep watch of the babies as other people such as the nanny, family or friends take over from you. Take those long walks, exercise, go to the mall and enjoy yourself for a little bit.

Being a multiple mum can take a toll on you. Getting out and even talking to people helps a lot in understanding that you are not in this alone and that whatever you face, there is always a way out.

Personally, going out to art events, meeting friends, and going to church even just to pray has kept me grounded.

Don’t be too hard on yourself – accept mistakes

No matter how much you are prepared to be a mum there will always be things that you had not anticipated that will happen. When something goes wrong, do not be too harsh on yourself. Do not blame yourself. Just learn from the mistakes, accept them and move on.

Finally, there is really no guide to making it through. Trusting in God and doing my best each day has done it for me.

Establishing a Twins’ Sleep Pattern

“How do you sleep?” or “When was the last time you had a good night of sleep?” This is a question I often encounter as a twin mum. And to be honest, it sort of irks me as much as it might be coming from a good place. For a long time I was anxious about becoming a parent. I was afraid of losing my sleep.

The thought of a crying baby keeping me awake all night was nerve wrecking. Little did I know what awaited me. My twins came at exactly 37 weeks and I must say it was both a relief as much as it was nerve wrecking.

We had obviously prepared for everything that we would need way in advance, but nobody had really prepared us for the journey that lay ahead.

**My twins in their first week of life**

Being home the first week after birth was comforting. I had a support system and did not have to worry about what to eat or who had prepared it. Family also tried their part ensuring that I took all the drugs that I still needed, and that I ate healthy food and got enough rest while at it.

Still, there were those moments, being alone with two infants that both needed my attention. The sound of crying babies was new to us; there were diapers to be changed, baths to be taken and so many things to be taken care of, mostly by me.

I am grateful for my husband who remained present during such moments However; he still could not know everything that was going on in my mind. And there was breastfeeding, and the interrupted sleep. It did not take long before I had a break down. Things got worse when we moved back into our house, with a domestic manager (a new addition to the home) and the babies, who by the way you come to accept, are also your extension and here to stay.

After a few months of struggle I realized that to get better sleep with a baby and particularly with twins, you have to establish a sleep pattern or a routine that you follow without fail. Here are a few useful tips on how to get them to sleep better, meaning, more rest for you.

Feed them at the same time

Getting your twins to sleep at the same time is definitely a piece of work. However, if you feed them at the same time, they will most likely also drift off at the same time.

Nap them at the same time

I often do this during the day, and now that we have already established a routine, they also take naps around the same time.

Create a bed time routine

This has personally worked for me. Whenever we are home, I ensure that I bath the twins at 9 in the night, feed them and put them down to sleep. This is one of the ways that they know it is bedtime. To add to this you can make a habit of playing some lullabies or reading from a story book just to ensure that they begin to understand that it is bed time. How do you put your babies or baby to sleep? Please do share any useful tips.

When They Start to Move

My twins recently turned nine months and I am thrilled, especially because I keep counting their age almost every day. With each passing day come changes, irreversible milestones that are both exciting and terrifying. Think of that first time when they attempted to sit down at four months and wouldn’t stop tipping over, or that first time when they started rolling over.

Now at 9 months my twins won’t stop moving. They want to stand holding on to furniture or anything that may provide support for that matter, they want to reach out and grab everything, regardless of what it is. Most shocking though, they are no longer scared of getting off the bed during bath times. I still can’t wrap my head around how I found my daughter under the bed the other day, or how my son wound up standing on his own, holding on to his cot, all the while laughing at my sight.

As a first time mum all these changes can catch you by surprise. For this reason it is always important to be prepared, so as to avoid any accidents.

Here are a few ways to child proof your home.

Ensure Furniture will not fall and land on your toddler. You can move furniture around to give them more space.

When they start getting up on their hands it is time to remove those hanging toys in their crib. Also ensure that the crib is a distant from any windows or any other furniture that they might try to climb on. The drop side of crib should also be kept up and locked when you’re not in the room.

Avoid leaving your baby alone on beds, sofas, high chairs or anywhere else they could fall off. At this age, I find it safer putting them on the floor on a safe area prepared especially for them.

Make sure there are no chocking hazards around their space. Additionally, keep sharp objects and any breakables, or any other dangerous objects far from their reach.

Children love to explore. Keep electric appliances unplugged and out of reach. Install safe plates on electricity outlets. Conceal wires using wire guards and keep them away from any electric sources altogether.

If you have stairs in your house, it is probably time you started thinking of installing a safety gate at the top otherwise they might get off their bedroom and decide to wander down stairs. You should also control access to unsafe areas by investing in door locks or setting up safety gates.

Even if you feel like you’ve done a thorough job child proofing your home, you’ve probably missed one thing, and you can also not underestimate your child’s intelligence and understanding of things. Always ensure that either you or someone you trust is watching over your child.